omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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