Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
