last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
