I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
