Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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