Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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