Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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