I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
