I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this is an emotional support booty call
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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