I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
