Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Houston, we have a squirter
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
