you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize