So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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