my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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