I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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