One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
