how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
