I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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