I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
