When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
