So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
