dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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