Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
