Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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