Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
