just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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