I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
