the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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