Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
