Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
3 2 1 whiskey
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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