office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
