There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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