just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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