Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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