So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
