well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
