Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
