belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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