I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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