the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
