Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
