I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
