Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
