Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
