I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
