I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
