just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
