You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sex in a hospital.. check
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize