So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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