Swine flu. Run for my life!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
