I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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