I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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