Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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