you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
