Can Purell be used as lube?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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