how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
