Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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