good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
