i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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