i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My breasts were aching with rage.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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