And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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