I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
